Wednesday, February 08, 2006

La verdadera historia del buen Pinnocho.




Todos conocemos la historia de pinnocho. Aparentemente tuvo un final feliz. Eso es lo que cuentan los de Walt Disney, pero encontre unos archivos perdidos en los que se relata la verdadera historia de este personaje de madera. Olvidense de la ballena y de un pinnocho de carne y hueso. Todo empezo cuando se puso su primera borrrachera y...

Despues de regresar de esa escapada que se dio con su compañero, Pinnocho llego a casa y encontro a Gepetto ( ustedes saben. Ese señor con cabello como de algodon) muy triste por su comportamiento y por la noticia que habia recibido: La Hada habia decidido no concederle su deseo de hacerlo humano, pues demostro ser debil aun siendo de madera. Al recibir esta triste noticia Pinnocho se entristecio tanto que tuvo que irse a echar dos que tres cheves para aliviar las penas.

Asi transcurrio la juventud de Pinnocho, atrapado en un cuerpo de un niño y con pensamientos de un joven de 22 años. Pinnocho se volvio un adicto al alcohol, se le podia ver con regularidad en la cantina del pueblo consumiendo cerveza en grandes cantidades.Pero el principal objetivo de Pinnocho era poder tener relaciones sexuales, era una ilusion de el. Un buen dia Pinnocho decidio ir con una prostituta, al verlo que tan solo era un niño la prostitua sonrio,pero acepto el dinero y lo llevo a un cuarto muy oscuro, empezo a desvestirse y prendio la luz. La chica no era algo muy agradable pero Pinnocho queria ver que se sentia.

- Adelante niño, quitate tu ropita- dijo la chica
- Un momento, me da mucha verguenza- contesto Pinnocho

Sonrojado, Pinnocho se quito la camiseta y el pantalon. Quedo en puros calzoncillos. Se acerco a la cama y la chica le empezo a bajar los calzones. Al ver aquella imagen, la prostituta se quedo sin habla, y se empezo a carcajear.

- Pero que es esto- exclamo la muchacha.

Pinnocho lo comprendio al instante, algo fundamental que el habia olvidado. A Geppeto no se le habia hecho importante construirle un pito.

- Pero si no tienes tu herramienta niño, como me piensas cojer?
- Si la tengo! En verdad que si tengo!- exclamo pinocho de manera desesperada.

Al decir esta mentira su nariz crecio unos centimetros, al ver esto la prostituta empezo a sentir un cosquilleo entre sus piernas. Era extraño pero verle crecer la nariz la empezaba a excitar.

- Que ocurre con tu nariz pequeño- dijo la prostituta
- Mmm, cada que digo mentiras empieza a crecer, lo siento no puedo evitarlo- contesto Pinnocho imaginando que le producia algun tipo de asco o repulsion.
- Pues quiero que mientas, quiero que mientas muchisimo- repuso la chica.

Lo jalo hacia ella y casi obligo a Pinnocho a decir mentiras. Pinnocho ya ni sabia que decir. " Soy fuerte, soy inteligente, soy de carne y hueso" La prostiuta al ver como le crecia la nariz, se abrio de piernas y bajo la cara de Pinnocho hasta en medio de sus piernas.Lo hacia introducir la nariz en su vagina. La chica lo disfruto y gozo como nunca lo habia hecho. A partir de ese dia la fama de Pinnocho fue en aumento. Muchas mujeres del pueblo lo buscaban e incluso le pagaban para sentir lo que sus esposos nunca habian podido hacerlas sentir.

Por su parte Pinnocho acudia a estas citas por sentirse importante, pero seguia habiendo un problema, Pinnocho no sentia nada en cuanto al aspecto fisico. Si, era cierto que complacia a decenas de señoras: gordas, flacas, morenas, rubias, feas, bonitas, es decir a toda clase de especimenes (excepto a mujeres orientales, en especial las chinas. Habia algo en ellas que Pinnocho simplemente no soportaba). Pero el no sentia nada fuera de lo normal. El nunca habia terminado.

Cierto dia llego una carta a su ventana, decia lo siguiente:

Querido Pinnocho

Me arrepiento mucho de no haberte convertido en humano. Me han llegado rumores de que haces sentir muy bien a las mujeres y sabes yo tengo tiempo sin alguien especial. Te propongo algo. Tu me haces tener unos orgasmos y yo te convierto en humano.

Firma. La hada madrina (no la Dark fairy)
P.S. trae contigo una lista con tus mejores mentiras.

Era una carta que a Pinnocho lo emociono demasiado. Anduvo bailando, cantando, jugando todos los dias, esperando la cita con La hada.

El dia habia llegado y Pinnocho dejo la ventana de su cuarto abierta, habia dejado bien limpia su nariz y se habia puesto sus mejores ropas. Pinnocho estaba ancioso, ya podia ver a la hada con unos cabellos rubios y con senos grandes. En fin, una hada bella, casi perfecta. Justo cuando le llegaban esos pensamientos, un vapor empezo a entrar por la ventana y fue transformandose en un ser humano.

Pinnocho se sorprendio, la hada aunque con ropajes elegantes, era muy flaca y lo peor era que tenia los ojos rasgados. No podia ser verdad, las hadas no pueden ser chinas pensó. Solo habia una forma de averiguarlo. Pinnocho se levanto y se acerco al hada, la abrazo para poder olerla. El olor a ajo era casi insoportable. No habia duda alguna:la hada era china. Pinnocho entristecio mientras la hada comenzaba a quitarse la ropa. O se echaba a la hada o se quedaba de madera toda su vida. Para desgracia de Geppeto, Pinocho tomo la tercera opcion. Salio corriendo del cuarto, tomo el encendedor y se prendio. Pinnocho se consumia junto con todos sus sueños.

83 comments:

are said...

y si...con una hada china, que otro fin podiamos esperar?? jajajaja

Dark Fairy*~ Iraís said...

ejem. que bueno que haces la aclaracion... coff coff...!! che mr mojo racist!!..

Mariana said...

Ja ja ja, ah para distorcion de cuentitos que diria Carlo Collodi... seguro le gustaria ja ja ja...

Saludos XD

AngelaO said...

Que buen final ! siempre esta la opcion numero 3 !!! jajaja

EL ATEO said...

1- A mi se me hace que si era el hada negada.
2 estas bien pinche loco.
3- deja de ver caricaturas de disney, aunque sean buenas para la puñeta, mejor concentrate en la de la cenicienta.
4 tengo todas mis esperanzas en la mision del 14 carnal, asi que no se te olvide.

Sr mojo said...

Gracias por andar por estos rumbos angelao.

No son distorciones de cuentos, es una historia real,jojo.}

No soy racista Hada.

Sr. mojo said...

Are yo se que usted si me comprende en lo que respecta a los chinos.

are said...

TOTALMENTE SR. MOJO....que escribieron abajo de mi comentario????

La Náusea said...

que cuento tan mas puercote, yo diria que el mr mojo es un degenerado.

Mariana said...

Jajaja, degenerado????, buenooooo...

EL ATEO said...

El Sr. Mojo ama a su Pinocho de juguete, lo trae siempre en esa mochila que carga hasta para ir al baño...

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